Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
SFW
The idea has been around for a long while now, I'm sure we've had more than a few right here at fishing. But this is the first time I've seen it animated.
I've heard the video frequently gets pulled, so catch it quick.
I've heard the video frequently gets pulled, so catch it quick.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
New!
If you look over to the right, you'll notice some new videos in the Video Lures section. That's because the keyword is now "naked tits."
Change is good.
Change is good.
Kong's Desktop
Although I'd think there'd be more files like "blowjob.jpg" and "lesbians.wmv" and folders title "big asses" laying around the his desktop.
Artist
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
SeaBass Brings You Jokey-joke Time
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don’t know!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make.
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole !" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole !"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic asshole calling
would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow
ranch house, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow
ranch house, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well , asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over
to kill me.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just
in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don’t know!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make.
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole !" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole !"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic asshole calling
would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow
ranch house, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow
ranch house, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well , asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over
to kill me.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just
in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
And Now a Message from Fail
I'm sure Harcourt would certainly find that a fail. Those things are tiny.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Speaking of Star Wars...
Great fucking song - always will be, no matter how often you hear it - rocked out with a sweet theme. They took the costumes out of the hardcore, ComicCon, geek world and made them cool again for three and a half minutes. Who wouldn't want to rock it on stage as a stormtrooper or Boba Fett?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
GONE FISHING!
As I move to a new area today in the building, this will mark the beginning of a Fishing hiatus for me. Big open space with back to the room does not equal Fishing Posts.
Hope to troll the waters again some day.
I Have To Take This Call
Right here, in the middle of the street, where everyone can see me. And fix my shoe. In this super-tight dress.
Yeah, you do.
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